t3lly

On Vox: 3 years, dayum.

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 02:04:41 GMT

This past weekend, Scott and i celebrated our 3 year anniversary. It shocked me when i first realized it would be three years--that was like 2 months ago. When it actually came, i was like "Oh, it's finally here!" It was real exciting though, and i had THE GREATEST time this weekend. Our anniversary was on Friday, October 10. We both took Friday off and had a long weekend. I headed down to Richmond on Thursday night. Friday morning we went to Williamsburg, VA to go shopping in the Prime Outlets, which was awesome, and then we went to the hotel he booked so we can go to Colonial Williamsburg the rest of the weekend. It was PERFECT. Everything about the weekend was perfect. Well, except for the overpriced, not so filling anniversary dinner we had. But even that ended up perfect because all we did was talk and talk and talk and have the greatest conversation about us. It's great how even after 3 years we still enjoy each other's company a lot. I think what scares/scared me about relationships is seeing how marriage is commercialized today and how everyone always says that once you get married, you get bored. Or once you're married, you're miserable. I hope it's not like that... i hope i'm still as happy as i am right now.

During dinner, and throughout the entire weekend, we talked a lot about marriage and engagements and all that. I was surprised because he was like Chandler from Friends--scared of marriage, freaked out by it and not excited to talk about it. But this weekend, Scott initiated all the conversations about marriage, and lately within the past year he's been talking about it with people OTHER than me too. So that makes it feel more real. It scared me a bit, but only because thinking about my mother and his mother talking and trying to plan our wedding is REALLY stressful. Our mothers are the most stubborn women i know, and the most pushy women. But Scott and i constantly just laughed about how the smallest thing is going to set them both off, and we know it. It'll be something small like "Should we have salted or unsalted butter?" lol. Inside joke...eh basically scott's mom like to use unsalted butter on things, and then salt it. Which makes no sense to me, but whatever. But yeah, Scott would constantly say things like "I don't THINK i'm ready for marriage right now, i just haven't given it a huge amount of thought...but if you said that you wanted to get married right now, i'd probably do it in a heartbeat. You're my world, and i can't imagine my life without you." He has such a way with words :) But i feel the same way. We were talking about how i'd like to be proposed to..and i remember not wanting a huge public proposal because of the pressure from the guy to say yes. But that was when i was with Aldene or with no one and i didn't know if i wanted to marry the guy at all. With Scott...i'd say yes. So hell if he wants to shout it from the rooftop of my work naked, i'd still say yes. If he wanted to propose to me in front of a huge crowd of people, i'd say yes.

This weekend was AMAZING. I can't believe i have such a sweet boyfriend. I really can't! We went to Colonial Williamsburg and pigged out at the Cheese Shop. Holy crap it was amazing. We went on this shit ass ghost tours--it kind of sucked. We went dancing with colonial women and men, which was so cute. We saw canons and guns shoot off. We made friends with a bunch of little kids in the hotel that wanted to play with us in the hot tub and the pool. We relaxed and relaxed and relaaaaaaxed. God, it was amazing. I just had the greatest time of my life. He's amazing to plan something like that for us. =) I can't wait until i'm making much more money so i can do something as extravagant. I felt bad... i didn't get him much. I got him the Watchmen graphic novel, and Bresingr, which is the third book from the Eragon series. So i paid for all our meals which ended up adding up like WHOA.

I hope for more and more anniversaries with this boy. He's great. =)

Originally posted on tellyrae.vox.com

On Vox: I miss my other half.

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 02:59:58 GMT

It's only been a few days, but i really miss Scott right now. I could really use his support right now. Work has been challenging these past two days. I'm comfortable in the classroom, but it was only my second day today and i was already being put in completely independent positions without TOO MUCH guidance. The kids won't listen to me or respect me. They're very spoiled since it is a private school. I don't know how to get them to listen to me. I use my firm voice, but they just mock me. They're 3 years old, so what can i really do. I wish they were all like me when i was a kid.. scared of authority and obedient. I guess that's my problem--i'm just as self-centered as they are. I just don't want to say the wrong thing, or do the wrong thing. I'm not used to being my own boss, i'm used to having a boss tell me exactly what to do. When something goes wrong, i'm not used to being the one to pick up the pieces--it's usually me telling the boss what went wrong and them telling me how to fix it.

I'm scared. Sunday night, the night before i started my first day, i panicked a little because it was the start of not being able to stay up late until the weekends, when i'm already going to be used to sleeping early. It's the start of sleeping early, waking up early, no free choice to NOT go, and no real ability for vacation. This is it, i'm stuck. I miss how i got to choose my schedule in college and i can opt for no monday, wednesday, and friday classes like i did this past semester. I miss the convenience of everyone in close proximity. I miss the simplicity that college life brought to me.

Most of all, i miss Scott being in close proximity to me. I miss coming home to him after a long stressful day of work and having him hold me. I miss everything about college and it's simplicity i suppose. Scott seemed to make everything better always. How is it that one person can do that?! I remember when we first met and i hadn't a care in the world. Well, except for Aldene breaking up with me and crushing my heart. Other than that, i was really into my music, very into artistic things, wore crazy clothes, and would sing in the midst of the hallways and showers. That was the girl Scott met and fell in love with. Him.. he was so playful. The first day we met was when i went to my friend Alexa's room where he was hanging out looking for Alexa, who wasn't there. Her roommate was. I said my hello's and carried on. He later made Alexa and her roommate ask me to go to the dining hall so he can tag along and get to know me. Within 5 minutes we somehow knew of each other's recent breakups from long term relationships. I was still a tad upset, but moving on. He wanted me to cheer up so he picked me up and spun me around. I was confused and startled, and asked him what that was for. He said he wanted to spin my troubles away and that everyone could use a little pick-me-up to pretend you're child every once in a while.

I think it was at that very moment that i started to fall in love with him.

He made everything about the Aldene situation appear so miniscule and simple. We talked, we cried, and we laughed about both of our breakups. Being near him and being with him just felt so safe and made everything seem okay when it felt like my world was falling apart because of Aldene. He said i made him feel the same way too.

We were completely inseparable from there on out. He came up to my room every single night to make sure he said good night to me--We weren't even dating yet. Everyone knew we wanted to be with each other. We were the only ones that knew it wasn't a good idea at that moment. Obviously we were both still hung up on our ex's.

The last day of freshman year arrived and i don't know why, but i felt a sense of loss. It felt as though everything i learned about being independent, safe, and better was going to fall apart because i wouldn't see Scott for the entire summer. He promised he would visit, but he didn't. On that last day, he told me something i will never forget. He told me that when he first met me, he knew we would know each other for the rest of our lives because i made him feel something no one has ever made him feel. He didn't promise me a relationship, but he did promise me a long-lasting friendship. I teared up a little, and he saw that. So he picked me up like he did when we first met and spun me around to "shake those tears away and just be happy."

Couples always try to capture those feelings they felt when they first met or first started dating. When i started writing this blog, i meant to say that i wish i could feel all those feelings all over again because that is another thing i miss. But i'm now realizing that i still feel that way. I still feel so safe and incredibly happy when i'm with him, and still so incredibly lost without him. But the difference is i don't feel AS lost as i did before, and i feel EVEN MORE happy when i'm with him. He's my other half, anyone would feel lost without their other half. True, we've had our differences and after almost 3 years we tend to feel very distanced from each other when we're 5 inches from each other. But we really have grown into incredible people. I asked in my previous blog how i am supposed to "rekindle" our magic. I think i found that out. We both knew from the very start that we have and will continue to make a lasting impression on each other, something that no one will ever make us feel. And to this day, no one has ever made me feel what Scott makes me feel, and i'm sure the same applies to him. As long as i know that, and as long as i keep that with me, i'll never lose him and we'll never lose what we have. He loves me, I love him... no one can take that away from us. And even if they do, we'll find our way back to each other. We have something special, i'll never forget that.

Originally posted on tellyrae.vox.com

Speed typing.

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:19:53 GMT

Apparently i'm a fast typer, eh?

86 words

Touch Typing online

idiot.

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 18:45:22 GMT

So i feel like an idiot. I posted the wrong url for my vox site.... so once again. another obnoxious vox post to add to your friends list. SORRY, EH?

tellyrae.vox.com

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 03:07:15 GMT

To all you myspacers out there.. i finally made one of them music myspaces. But i only have my shitty recording of "Tangled" on it. Soooo i'll be recording more as the summer progresses. But um, add me cuz i look pathetic with no friends. ♥ You know, nothin but love ;]